


hate to see you leave, love to watch you go

by wheezyboys



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Angst, Break Up, Established Relationship, M/M, Pre-Relationship, david and liza comparisons, youtuber!au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-30
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-08-11 00:45:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16465472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wheezyboys/pseuds/wheezyboys
Summary: amatts34 started following marner16marner16 started following amatts34





	hate to see you leave, love to watch you go

**Author's Note:**

  * For [landymoji](https://archiveofourown.org/users/landymoji/gifts).



> uhhh yeah dont read this if u personally know anyone in the tags pls
> 
> the timeline? wack.  
> jack eichel? chilling.  
> dylan strome? drunk.  
> connor mcdavid? stressed.
> 
> this is like rly based off of david and liza and like??? written strangely but i dont know how to fix it
> 
> the text names are based off what the other person has them down in their phone as

“He’s kind of a dick, eh?” Dylan asked, flopping into the open space next to Mitch on the couch.

Mitch shrugged, watching the man on the screen slap an ice cream out of his friend’s hand. 

“He’s—” Mitch started. 

“Bro, I’m just trying to help you keep your diet,” the computer’s speakers called out. 

Mitch shrugged and slammed his laptop closed. 

“He could be worse.”

Dick in question was ‘amatts34’ or Auston Matthews on Vine. He was a pretty average high school douchebag type. Dumb pranks, telling his sisters they were adopted, fucking around Walmart—all the things Mitch wasn’t, but maybe that’s why Mitch couldn’t stop watching fan made compilations of all his videos in one. 

Dylan raised a brow at Mitch’s words and pulled out his phone, scrolling through his feed. 

“You don’t think he’s hot, do you?”

Mitch scoffed. Auston wasn’t his type anyways. The guy had a forehead the size of Canada itself, and nostrils that looks like they could swallow the moon whole if he inhaled too deeply. 

“If you don’t think he’s hot, then why did you like his picture?” Dylan continued, flashing his screen Mitch’s way. 

He tore the phone out of his weak little hands and looked over the evidence in question. 

It was a picture of Auston and some of his buddies poolside. He’s got who Mitch knows (from Dylan’s old interests) as Zach on one side of him and a skinny, kind of rat-looking kid tagged as ‘tkachukycheese_’ on his other side. 

“It must’ve come up in my feed, I don’t know,” Mitch said, scrolling through the comments. There were a couple of his friends chirping him, but the rest were fangirls calling them ‘daddies’ or Auston ‘papi’ specifically. It seemed wrong knowing these girls were probably all around thirteen years old, but at thirteen he was thirsting over Sidney Crosby and that didn’t seem much better. 

When he looked back at Dylan he was surprised to see the boy’s eyebrows even higher. It would be easy to see that Mitch wasn’t following Auston in the first place, so how he ended up liking the picture is a question for some sort of greater power or something—he didn’t like him, okay?

“Did your mom ever tell you that if you keep doing that your face will get stuck like that?” Mitch asked, tossing the phone back at him, hard enough that when it hit his chest he made a little ‘oof’ noise. 

“Yeah,” Dylan said with a shrug. “Momma also confirmed that it was a spaceship hanging out outside my window while I tried to sleep.”

Now it was Mitch’s turn to raise his brow, sitting up to pull his hoodie back on as he heard Connor finishing up in the other room. Once Connor was done they’d head out to shoot some videos, but also go get lunch. Big moves. 

“It was the moon.” 

 

It was surprising that his mom let him bring both Connor and Dylan to the meet up, but he did suppose they were all legal in Canada now, but this wasn’t Canada, this was Los Angeles. This was a whole different ballpark. It was a good thing everything seemed to turn more Canadian when they were drunk. 

Or maybe everything was just more turnt.

Either way Connor looked like he was either about to piss his pants or cry watching Dylan funnel again.

“Davo, baby,” Mitch slurred out, pulling him close. “Look at your man! Look at him! That’s what a high school education’ll getcha!”

Connor bit his lip and looked around. “How’d you even get us into this party, Marns?”

Mitch shrugged and looked around, too. He doesn’t remember getting much of a formal invite, just a DM over Twitter or something. 

“Don’t remember,” he shrugged. “Don’t care enough to think about it right now.”

Connor nodded, looking at him, before rushing to Dylan’s side as he stood up and cheered, despite almost falling over. 

“I think he needs to drink some water,” he more or less yelled over the heavy bass of the music. “Or maybe he needs to puke.”

Mitch gave them a thumbs up as Connor dragged his boyfriend away. As long as lil Dyl wasn’t puking on his shoes, he didn’t really care. 

Moving onto the dance floor, he swayed in time with the bass and the bodies around them. If you were to tell him years ago that this is where he’d be spending his eighteenth year, he wouldn’t believe you, but being here right now—well shit, there’s no place he’d rather be. 

It wasn’t long before he felt a tap on his shoulder. Turning, he found who looked like Jack Eichel at his back. 

“Your friend Connor sent me to get you,” he said with a sigh. “He wants to take you and Dylan back to your room or something.”

Mitch nodded, letting Jack pull him towards the door. 

“Cool, cool, cool,” he said with a nod, “problem, though, Mr. Eichel, I don’t know where my room is anymore.”

Jack heaved a sigh and pulled him into the barren hallway. 

“Fuckin’ Canadians.”

 

“Who knew that one night of dragging my floppy body back to my hotel room would lead to a lifelong friendship?” Mitch asked, head on Jack’s chest while he scrolled through his Twitter, trying to ignore Connor pestering Dylan to ‘get out of the fucking shower’ in the bathroom.

“Shut the fuck up, Marner,” Jack said. 

It was okay, though. Mitch could tell he said it with love. 

 

 **eichs08** started following **mcdavid97, dylstrome19, marner16**  
**mcdavid97** started following **eichs08**  
**marner16** started following **eichs08**  
**dylstrome19** started following **itsdougthepug**

****

 

“Hey, Marner! There’s someone I want you to meet.” 

Mitch didn’t want to roll over from where the sun was baking into his back, so he didn’t He supposed if it was important enough, Eichs would roll him over himself. 

Coming back to Los Angeles was never something Mitch had dreamed of, but Jack had invited him back to hangout, so he took a week off and flew out west. It was nearing Christmas, so the airports were crazy, but the heat, Mitch thought, was totally worth it.

“Marns!” 

“Jack,” he mumbled, from where his face was tucked into his arm. “I’m only here for twenty-three more hours and it’s snowing back home. Please, please just let me have this.”

There were whispers, and a little splashing around before Mitch’s floating duck was overturned and he was in the water, sputtering for air as if he had’t expected this to happen. When he finally caught, Jack was pulling himself back onto the poolside, and beside him was the glorious all-american piece of beef he knew as Auston Matthews. 

“Wasn’t my idea,” Auston said, cheeks stretched wide with a smile Mitch has never seen on any social media site before. It was cute, almost like Auston was embodying the sunshine himself. 

He held out a hand when Mitch swam closer to the edge, helping pull him out of the water. 

“Auston,” he said, shaking his hand. 

“I know,” Mitch said, rolling his eyes. “‘m Mitch.”

“I know that, too,” Auston grinned. 

 

 **amatts34** started following **marner16**  
**marner16** started following **amatts34**

 

“Are you sure you can’t stay longer?” Auston asked, handing Mitch his bag out of the back of his car. 

Mitch shook his head, pulling it onto his shoulder. “My mom is already pissed I stayed a week longer than I was supposed to. Don’t want her to think you’re a bad influence, eh?”

Auston ignored his comments and crossed his arms over his chest, “you’re an adult now, though.”

“Gotta be home for Christmas,” Mitch shrugged. “I’m also a momma’s boy, anyone will tell you that.” 

“But you’ll text me, right?” 

“Give me something to reply to, then we’ll see, Matthews,” Mitch said with a smirk, before turning and heading to his terminal. 

 

 **auston matthews (15:14):** hate to see you leave  
**auston matthews (15:14):** luv to watch you go  
**auston matthews (15:15):** (tongue emoji) (tongue emoji) (peach emoji)  
**auston matthews (15:16):** but srlsy have a safe flight and lmk when u land

 

 **mitch marner (16:34):** we’re about to take off  
**mitch marner (16:34):** and i realized i’m wearing your hoodie still  
**auston matthews (16:34):** dw it looks better on you anyways

 **mitch marner (21:22):** i’m home and i’m realizing i’ll never be as loved as the love i get from my dog after being away

 **auston matthews (23:47):** bet

 

It was interesting watching Auston vlog with his friends. It was like watching a second snail come out of the shell, like holy shit, how did they even fit in there?

He was still a little bit of a dick, but watching Keller scream and jump out of the bathtub after thinking the cornflakes Auston had poured on him were bugs was a whole other kind of funny. 

Mitch had started making appearances in his videos, but he’d always sworn he’d never get his own channel, despite what everyone was saying in the comments of every picture he ever posted on Instagram. 

“You’d be good at this,” Auston said one night while Mitch was tucked into his side, watching him edit. “You’re funny and cute. Everything the internet wants.”

Mitch shrugged, watching Hanny trip over the curb again while Auston tried to get the music to line up to his fall. 

“Too much out there,” he said. “I like my privacy.”

Auston, finally content with his video, clicked export and laid his laptop beside his bed before pushing Mitch down the bed and rolling on top of him. 

Mitch made a face while Auston smushed kisses into his face and cheeks, finally settling by pressing his nose into Mitch’s neck, laying gentle kisses along his collarbone. 

“Are we ever going to tell them?” Auston asked. Though it was muffled by sweater and skin, Mitch knew what he said. He was expecting this question. 

“Someday,” Mitch said, pushing his fingers through Auston’s freshly cleaned, gel-free hair. 

 

 **aus (13:10):** baby come to my place i have something to show you  
**baby (13:12):** i swear to fcuking god if it’s a snake i’m murdering u on camera  
**baby (13:13):** i’ll be there in ten  
**aus (13:13):** :)

 

 **baby (22:07):** yO FUCK USA HOCKEY  
**aus (22:09):** sucks 2 suck  
**baby (22:10):** is this rly a time to be talking about sucking??  
**aus (22:10):** miss u

 

 **baby (00:00):** lol davo just asked if we were dating  
**baby (00:00):** he thought i was joking  
**baby (00:00):** six months spent with u willingly???  
**baby (00:01):** AINT NO JOEK FAM  
**aus (00:03):** joek

 

Connor looked grainy over Skype quality, but he wouldn’t be home until Christmas so Mitch would take any connection with him. 

“How’s uni treating you, Davo?” He asked with a wide grin, watching Dylan wander around in the background, while Connor toyed with his laptop like an old man. 

“Good!” Connor replied after a few seconds. He sat back in his chair and smiled wide. “Yeah, Edmonton is treating me well.”

“And Dyl?”

“Only good things, Mitchell,” he heard shouted from somewhere out of frame. 

“So when are you guys going to send me a University of Alberta hoodie?” He asked, stomach growing heavy. 

They’d talked about going to university together for years. Their year off was inevitable, but now they’re gone and growing up, while Mitch stayed back to deal with his double lives. 

“Christmas isn’t that far away now, is it? Don’t you think you could wait?” Connor asked.

Mitch hummed, and shrugged. Before he could say anything else, Connor grew a second head over his shoulder and Dylan was speaking. 

“You’re always flying out west anyways, why don’t you come and visit?”

 

 **baby (19:57):** merry christmas babe! i hope you had a good day!! be on skype in a couple hours so i can give you ur present (blushing face emoji)  
**aus (20:00):** (water droplets emoji) (water droplets emoji)

 

 **aus (00:11):** hey do u want to come to hawaii with me lol  
**aus (00:11):** they want to send me to do a review of something  
**aus (00:11):** and i didn’t want to be alone  
**baby (00:13):** its midnight here u cant just drop bombs like that on me  
**baby (00:13):** when tho (eyes emoji)  
**aus (00:14):** i’m telling them you’re coming (smiley face emoji)

 

 **marner16** just posted on Instagram! Check it out!

**[Image description: Mitch stands in a mirror with towel around his waist, behind him Auston has an arm around his waist keeping him close. Auston’s face is hidden, but Mitch’s tag of him in the picture clues everyone in.]**

**[Captioned: if he were a fruit, he’d be a fine-apple (pineapple emoji)]**

 

“I totally missed the ‘feeling nauti’ chance at a caption,” Mitch said, checking the photo’s statistics. He’d already gained an extra thousand follows alone, but now this picture was quickly surpassing the one of his pup in his bee Halloween costume. 

Auston laughed and pulled Mitch against his chest. Mitch could feel his chest rumble as he spoke. 

“Many more years means many more captions.”

 

 **aus (00:00):** happy anniversary loser i cant wait to see you  
**baby (00:00):** bring ur coat she’s a wee bit chilly in the six  
**baby (00:00):** but my mom is excited to meet u (blue heart emoji)

 

Having Auston in his bed was something Mitch didn’t imagine when he was making fun of him to Dylan over a year ago, but it was nice to be at home with his other home. 

“You really like hockey, eh?” Auston asked, taking in all the posters covering Mitch’s walls. 

Mitch shrugged and fell back on his bed. 

“I used to think I’d play professionally someday,” he said, staring the ceiling. “Arizona has a team.”

Auston made a noise and laid in the space beside him, “never really got into it. I like to golf though.”

“Golf? God, how am I dating the most boring person ever?”

 

Winters in Toronto are a whole other mountain to climb, but this wasn’t winter anymore. The sun was coming out early again, and the snow was melting, and things should have been better. He should have felt better by now. 

It wasn’t that he felt trapped with Auston-well maybe it was. 

Auston wasn’t trapping him, he was sure about that, but Mitch was trapping himself in a life he never thought he would have lived in the first place, but that meant leaving his old dreams behind, and that didn’t settle quite right either. 

 

 **aus (23:13):** hey baby are you okay?

 **aus (00:02):** (blue heart emoji) (blue heart emoji) (blue heart emoji)

 ** **aus (01:48):** i’m always here to call**  
**aus (01:49):** i love you

 

His mom pulled him close to her chest the next morning at breakfast, petting his hair and shushing him while built up tears fell. 

“I’ve never loved someone as much as I love him,” he whispered into her shoulder. “But why does it feel so wrong?”

She hummed and hugged him tight. 

“Sometimes,” she said. “you have to love yourself before you can accept the love others are giving you.”

 

Mitch had seen Auston cry many times before. In three years of knowing someone there are many opportunities to cry at. 

He’d seen Auston cry out of joy, and laughter, out of frustration, out of sadness, but this was a different kind of sadness. 

“I lost myself,” Mitch said, wiping at his own cheeks. “I was supposed to go to school, and get a job, I mean, I still live with my parents, and I feel like I’m just mooching off you guys and-that’s no way to live Auston. You shouldn’t have to provide for me. I’m not your sugar baby, I’m your boyfriend. I’m supposed to be here for you when you get sad, but I can’t even cure my own sadness-.”

Mitch let out a sob and covered his mouth, taking the steps forward to press himself against Auston without realizing. 

Auston wrapped his arms around Mitch, holding tight like he would never let go. 

“I’ve never loved someone as much as I love you, Aus,” Mitch said. “I just need time to figure myself out, too.”

 

Mitch didn’t hate sitting in front of cameras, I mean, goddamn, this was his job before this, but the context of the video they were filming is what made it so much worse. 

“Are you ready?” Auston asked, fixing his hair in the viewfinder. 

Mitch nodded and bumped shoulders with him. 

“Let’s get at ‘er.” 

 

**[VIDEO TRANSCRIPT OF ‘we broke up’:**

**Auston: Hey guys, welcome back! This is obviously super different from my normal videos, but we’d kept this to ourselves for awhile and we finally felt ready to tell you guys… long story short, we’re not together anymore.**

**Auston: Long story short, Mitch broke up with me a couple months ago.**

**Mitch: Well don’t say it like that!**

**Auston: But it made sense! His reasons made sense and it just wasn’t good for us to be together anymore-**

**Mitch: We’re still friends!**

**Auston: Yeah, Mitch is my best friend—sorry, Zach—and he’ll always be my best friend.**

**Mitch: I just-I’ve been going through some things, and I didn’t mean to distance myself, but I did and I couldn’t stop myself, and it just didn’t seem fair to keep Auston trapped somewhere while I tried to figure my shit out.**

**Auston: And I respect that! I mean, we met when we were still kids, and fuck, if Mitch hasn’t given me the best couple years of my life.**

**Mitch: And you guys know how much I love Auston, I mean, I’ve never loved someone as much as I love Auston, and I don’t think I ever will. He’s genuinely the coolest and nicest person I’ve ever met and, well fuck, if it hasn’t been a pleasure loving him and being loved by him, I don’t know what it was.**

**Auston: And like, I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving Mitch. He spent all this time putting up with my shit! I mean, how do I thank someone for that?**

**Mitch: And if-if Auston finds someone else, well then we’ll just have to accept that, and let him live his life. I can’t be holding him back anymore—I mean, that’s why we broke up in the first place, y’know? And that sucks, and picturing him with someone else, well, I just have to make myself better before I can fall back in his arms again.**

**Auston: I don’t want anybody else. I just want you.**

****Mitch: If you keep saying stuff like that-** **

****

**Auston: I’ve had the best time of my life with Mitch, and as two people growing together, there’s gotta be times when we grow apart, and yeah that sucks, but hopefully we can grow closer again, too.**

**Mitch: Can we-**

**Auston: Yeah. Sorry for ending this week on such a shitty note. We’ll be back to our regularly scheduled programming on Monday.**

**Mitch: Love you.**

**Auston: Love you, too.]**

 

Flying back to Toronto was always the worst part of any trip Mitch took, but in a way, this trip back felt like a breath of fresh air. 

Auston hugged him at his gate, kissing the top of his head, still fitting together like they hadn’t ripped themselves apart. 

“I’ll text you before I post it,” Auston mumbled into his hair. 

“Thanks,” Mitch murmured, pulling himself away. “ See you in a few, Aus.”

 

 **aus(16:34):** hate to see you leave  
**aus (16:34):** love to watch you go  
**aus (16:34):** let me know when you land

 **baby (01:11):** home

 

 **aus (03:53):** posted

 

 **aus (12:01):** holy shit  
**aus (12:01):** loook at this dog  
**aus (12:02): **[GIF of a dog slipping on ice]****

********

 

 **aus (00:00):** happy birthday mitchy!!! i rly hope i got this timezone shit right (blue heart emoji) (blue heart emoji)

 

 **auston matthews (17:27):** yo i just saw on ur twitter  
**auston matthews (17:27):** ur right bc he looks like an old man but who names their dog darwin  
**auston matthews (17:28):** ur wild  
**baby (17:40):** maybe if u come to toronto u can meet him  
**auston matthews (17:40):** maybe

 **marner16** started following **amatts34**

 

 **auston matthews (18:09):** CONGRATS ON WESTERN!!! UR GONNA KICK ASS  
**marns (18:38):** haha thanks auston

 

 **mitch marner (19:13):** hey like i know this is weird  
**mitch marner (19:13):** because it’s been like awhile  
**mitch marner (19:13):** but im going to school with like teenagers year olds  
**mitch marner (19:13):** i feel old  
**mitch marner (19:13):** and they can outdrink anybody you know and im freaked out  
**mitch marner (19:14):** so what i’m getting at is  
**mitch marner (19:16):** do you think is too late to come back to cali to visit on reading week

**auston matthews is typing…**

**Author's Note:**

> the timeline is strange but it goes from about the time mitch is 18 when they meet at some convention, they meet in december, get together around april and date for just about a year, breaking up just a little before mitch turns 20. the final set of messages come from around the time mitch is like 22-ish?? by the end they're probably been broken up about a year and a half/two years. 
> 
> i'll rework it and maybe expand it


End file.
